Features | Experience of the Divinity of Bhagavan | Group V | Mr. M. K. Kaw

Mr. M. K. Kaw IAS (Retd),
Formerly Secretary to the Government of India,
Department of Secondary and Higher Education, &
Presently Dean of Sai International Centre for Human Values,
New Delhi.

Mr M. K. Kaw served the Government of India in different capacities including the Secretary, Department of Secondary and Higher Education, HRD Ministry, New Delhi. He is a prolific writer and an ardent devotee of Bhagavan. He narrates a few of his experiences of the Divinity of Bhagavan in his own words.

'The true miracle about Baba is not that he produces rings, japamalas and necklaces with a flourish of His hand. That is at the initial stages, when He sees that we are like little children and can be tantalized by a toffee.

He did this to me at our very first meeting in the 1st June 1985, twenty years ago. 'What is the difference between you and me?' He asked and did not wait for a reply. Then He answered it Himself. 'When you want a ring, you go to a goldsmith, who takes lot of time to melt the gold and fashion it into a ring. But with me' He said, with a circular motion of His palm 'I will and it happens.' And suddenly, there was a ring in His hand!

As our relationship ripened, I found that although such gross materializations dazzled the senses, they were not the true miracles. His real miracle was when he quietly entered my heart, without my knowledge and started changing my habits from within.

The first outward manifestation was my attitude to smoking. In 1986, I had been smoking for 26 years. I had found giving up of the habit extremely simple… I had done it so many times. The only snag was that as soon as I got a whiff of tobacco, I immediately succumbed to the temptation.

Baba arranged everything very nicely. I got a haemorrhage in my retina. The Ophthalmologists did all the tests. Nothing was wrong with me, except that there was a haemorrhage. The doctors said it was idiopathic, that is, without any known cause. I called their diagnosis idiotic till I met this doctor in Connaught Place. He was a retired colonel from the Army Medical Corps and he was a general practitioner. After one hour, he sighed and gave up. 'There does not seem any reason why it should have happened. Well… maybe, it was just one of those things. You know… idiopathic!'

As I approached the door, he asked very casually, 'do you smoke?'

'Yes', I said.

'Well, then… Give it up'.

I came out and stood in the verandah. 'Raj' I told my long-suffering spouse, 'this is the last cigarette I will smoke.' And, it was.

The same was true of eating non-vegetarian food. I belong to a family of Kashmiri Pandits. We have been exempted from the general dispensation for Brahmins or so we claim! And we ate the stuff voraciously on all days of the week, except Tuesday.

I had had bouts of indecision, when I became a vegetarian and the family ganged up and forced me back with lot of emotional blackmail. This had happened three times already. The last time I gave up meat, my wife gave up eating of all food for two days to coerce me back into the habit.

In 1989, my entire family visited Baba. He did not say anything to us. We had, of course, told one of the cousins to have lunch ready for us on our return. As we would have been subsisting on 'ghaasphoos' for so many days, she had been asked to lay down a feast for the returning prodigals.

There was a book of Baba which I read on the return journey on the Karnataka Express. I translated it to all members of the family. I said Baba was totally opposed of killing of animals for food.

There was a pin drop silence in our compartment. 'I am giving up non-vegetarian food from today. We cannot pretend to be devotees of Sai Baba and not obey even this small wish of His.

My mother said with some reluctance, 'If you give up, how can I eat? I shall also give up'.

One by one, all members of the family took a vow not to take meat. We only made an exception for my son Anurag as he was going to Moscow for studies. Gradually, the virus spread. My in-laws and other relatives also gave up eating meat. Surprisingly, there was no emotional blackmail and no relapse.

Again these, too, I would call gross miracles. The true miracle of Swami is the disappearance of the negative qualities of one's character. I was an IAS officer with an awesome reputation. As DC I had thrown all the sweets of a halwai into the drain because there were files in his kitchen. I had locked up an hotelier, because he was using a name which could be mistaken for a Government hotel. I used to throw files at my subordinates. I had dismissed officials for even minor acts of corruption. I would award maximum punishment under the law, when I was a judicial magistrate. I would oppose the Chief Minister's written orders on the file and compel him to reverse his orders. And so on and so forth.

When I came into contact with Swami, I started talking softly and sweetly, as it appeared to be one of the easiest of his injunctions. I stopped criticizing people. I lost most of my toughness and could sense that I had hitherto been somewhat of an egotist and a bully. Gradually, I became milder and milder, till someone one day told me that I was extremely mild and should take a stand now and then.

Suddenly I realized what a distance I had travelled. Swami brought about this inner transformation in such a silent and gradual manner that I had not even noticed it.

Swami has also changed the negative traits of my family. My wife used to be nervous. He soothed her saying that He Himself was there always to protect her and her family. My mother was distraught at the death of my father. Swami explained at great length how both husband and wife could not die at the same time and that Papaji was happy wherever he was.

He told my daughter Iti that she was prone to losing her temper at the slightest pretext. She has worked on this part of herself, with lot of success.

As far as my son is concerned, he and Baba enjoy special relationship. He looks after every aspect of his life. He has intervened at all the critical points in his life, and always made things happen in a certain way.

It is our prayer to continue to be under Swami's protective umbrella as long as we live and even beyond, till we achieve the purpose of human life!'

-- Mr. M. K. Kaw

(Source: The devotee's article in the special souvenir Tribute published by the Sri Sathya Sai Books & Publications Trust on the occasion of the 80th Birthday of Bhagavan.)