Features | Experience of the Divinity of Bhagavan by Devotees | Group V | Ms. Bhargavi S.

Ms. Bhargavi S., III B.com (Hons),
Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning,
Anantapur Campus.

Ms. Bhargavi S, a student of the third year B. Com. (Hons) of the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning, Anantapur Campus narrates her experiences of the Divinity of Bhagavan in her own words.

'On a happy Vinayaka Chaturthi morning when I was in the XI Standard in the Sri Sathya Sai Primary School, Prasanthi Nilayam, all of us were happy to have Bhagavan's darshan, and more so because He got some sweets distributed to all of us. As I received the prasadam, I saw one of my friends looking at the sweet and shedding tears profusely. Upon enquiry, I learnt that she had not received the sweet that she had liked the most. After darshan, when I went to the prayer hall, I saw the same girl sitting in front of the Ganesha idol and crying. To my amusement, I found her looking at the laddu in the hands of Ganesha enviously. She said 'Ganesha, if I had been at home for this festival, my mother would have given me a laddu. Swami claims to be more than a thousand mothers to us. He should have given me a thousand laddus. But, He has not given me even a single one.' Saying this, she broke down again. I found the situation amusing, and couldn't understand her pain.

During the evening darshan, Bhagavan directed the teachers to distribute the prasadam to the girls first. Since my friend happened to be the first girl in the line, she was in fact the first to receive the prasadam among the thousands that were present that evening. She opened the cover to see her most favourite sweet, the laddu for which she had cried for hours together. The highlight of the incident is that Bhagavan stood near the interview room window till the girl received prasadam, and opened it. Of course, it was feast for my eyes to witness the wonderful exchange of loving smiles between the Universal Mother and Her 'laddu-loving daughter'.

The girl began to cry again, but now out of joy - joy, not just for getting a laddu, but because the Lord of the Unverse had responded to her and, to top it all, had waited for long, looking keenly into her eyes, to make her realize that the packet consisted of not just a laddu, but also the love of a thousand mothers. Laddu or love, to give anything, is possible for Him alone.

During the summer vacation, I had an opportunity to render service to some of the mentally sick people in my home town. The asylum had two different wards, one for men and the other for women. I was assigned the duty of serving in the women's ward. We had to give the patients bath, and feed them. When I reached the hospital, I was shocked to see those women - young and old - poorly dressed, erratic in behaviour, and incoherent in speech. All my excitement to serve them vanished. I was scared even to look at them. I decided to watch the happenings from a safe distance. I did not realize that one of the elders in the Samithi was observing me all the while. This person told me to make them stand in a line and get them ready for bath. I kept chanting Bhagavan's name as I was afraid.

When I approached them, they looked at me keenly, and then gave me a broad smile which melted away my fears. Even before I could say something, they wished me in a loud voice 'Sairam, akkha. How are you? We are seeing you for the first time. What is your name?' I was perplexed at this warm but unexpected welcome.

I saw some of them eating mud, others laughing for no reason, and yet others crying pitiably. These scenes left me with mixed feelings. I learnt that most of them were not born mad but had become made either because their husbands had deserted them, or because their children did not care for them. Looking at them, I counted my blessings. The more I saw their sufferings, the more I felt I should help them. But I did not know how to help them.

I saw a very old lady, wallowing in the dirt. I even saw some nurses twisting her hands to make her follow their commands. But she was adamant. I was curious to know what was wrong with her. I went to her when she was alone, bent down, put my hand on her shoulder, and asked her, 'amma, what is your problem, why do you cry?' she didn't seem to understand the language I spoke. When I enquired from others, I learnt that she usually cried to see her sons. A mother's love is truly unique and unmatched. Her sons had snatched away her property, and thrown her out of the house. Yet she loved them. Then I knew what she needed! I was in fact happy because she needed something which I had in abundance. And, that is, the love which I had received from our Lord. I continued to communicate with her, and console her by putting my hand in hers, saying 'amma, Swami will take care of you. Don't worry. Even your sons will be transformed. They will surely come and take you home.' I spoke much, but I knew she did not understand anything. Her mother tongue is Oriya and I spoke in Telugu. Since she didn't react or respond, I thought of leaving her alone and attending to somebody else.

But, when I started to move away from her, I found her holding my feet tightly and crying bitterly. The situation puzzled me. I bent down, touched her feet immediately, and said 'amma, you shouldn't do this. I am much younger than you.' She didn't listen. She was murmuring something. She raised her gnarled hand, and her actions indicated that I was to draw close to her. As I bent to hear what she said, I noticed tears in her eyes. She held my feet and said, 'you are God, you are truly divine.' This incident left a deep impression on me. What had I done? I had spoken a few words of consolation and offered a caring touch. But that was enough to move her heart:

She knew not who I was,
     She knew not where I came from,
     She knew not what I spoke,
     Yet she knew what it means to love and be loved.

Probably this is what Bhagavan means when He says that 'the language of the heart can be understood by one and all.' This experience taught me great lessons. It is only after the lady called me 'God' and 'divine' that I actually understood what the word 'God' means. Truly, God is sought by man neither for His possessions nor for His powers but for the love that He alone is capable of giving even without being loved.'

-- Ms. Bhargavi S.

(As extracted from the souvenir Ananta Prematarangini published by the Anantapur Campus of the SSSIHL on the occasion of the 80th Birthday of Bhagavan)